How my buddies’ younger sister became my wife

FROM the time Chimuka Chiyamba set his eyes on his friend’s younger sister Norah in 2002 he knew he had found his future wife. Fears of his feelings about Nora damaging the relationship he had with her brother did not deter the then 19-year-old from allowing his emotions to grow.

His interactions with Norah’s brother usually provided an opportunity for him to interact with her. Over time, the two developed a friendship which later blossomed into a relationship a year later. Her brother only discovered the two were dating, a year into their relationship after suspecting that they were ‘abnormally’ too close for friends.

According to Norah, the friendship between her brother and her lover became sour but that did not affect their relationship because they were determined not to allow anybody to stand in the way of their happiness.
“I was only 17 and in grade 11 when we started dating and by the time I was in grade 12, I was pregnant. My brother stopped talking to me and Chimuka. Life at home became unbearable but all the hardships I experienced actually drew us closer together especially that he had already proposed marriage to me and I had accepted,” Norah said.

Norah said her parents were naturally disappointed when they discovered that she was pregnant because they had hoped she would first go to college before settling down.

“I count myself blessed to have Chimuka in my life because even before we were officially married he showed me that he is a man of his word. He stuck by me when I fell pregnant and never left when my family disapproved,” she said.
And fortunately, the couple officially tied the knot in 2008. The couple has three kids; two boys, one girl. According to Norah, what has made their marriage a success is love, respect, communication and trust.

What Norah likes about Chimuka is his visionary, his love for family, his humility and above all, his commitment to seeing that he leads his family to success.
“He is a very supportive husband; always has been from the word go. He supports me and the children. I love that he is also a humble man; his humility is what attracted me to him and he is a man of his word,” she said.

And Chimuka describes his connection with his wife as amazing. He said she is patient and always has been from the time they met.
He said as a couple, the two thrive for better communication in order to make their marriage work for them.

“From way back my wife would always write something whenever we differ. When she gets to the level of writing then I know it’s something that has been bothering her for a long time. We then find suitable time to talk. But now she is so free to ask me about anything and we value our time for such discussions as a married couple,” he said.
Chimuka said what attracted him to her is that she was hospitable, respectful and very wise.

“I married a wonderful woman and made the commitment to apply myself to the relationship with the same energy that I place into other important areas of my life; school, work, health, friendships.
I didn’t want to be casual about the relationship nor take it for granted. My partner has pretty much done the same thing. Consequently, we make a great team. I can’t imagine being without her,” he said.
Chimuka said prioritising their marriage and ensuring that as a couple they treat each other with love and respect has helped sustain it.

“We don’t allow issues to brew, we talk about them as they happen and this is one thing that has helped us reach this far. My wife and I are open to each other, she knows me very well and so do I. There are no secrets between us. The secret to our seven years of marriage is ensuring that we keep each other content, happy, healthy and satisfied,” he said.
He said as a couple, they do not allow or entertain external influence in their marriage.

Chimuka, who also co-owns Kabwe News Centre (KNC), a Kabwe-based community radio station, with his wife, said as a couple, they make sure they do not mix business and pleasure as family always comes first.
“We do not mix family time with work, sometimes you find a problem that starts at home may spill over to work. She trusts me enough and has given me the freedom to make independent decisions for our business. She is my best friend, my business partner,” he said.

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